Ella got in trouble at school today.
AGAIN.
She had a rough day listening, sat in time out twice, missed out on recess and didn't get to participate in music class. (But she did nap for an hour!)
Why do I feel like my almost 3-year-old is defeating me?
I mean really. She knows how to say "please and thank you" and "yes sir, yes ma'am" and will even asked to be excused from the dinner table. Yet, she will not listen.to.anybody.
Spankings help for the short term, but when she is faced with the decision to listen to mom or dad or do whatever it is she wants to do..... she mostly decides on doing what she wants to do. Maybe she's forgetful? I doubt it. Maybe she needs more positive affirmation when she does good things and listens well? It wouldn't hurt. Maybe she's going through the terrible 2s? I definitely wish I could blame it all on that.
I think the hardest thing is thinking about what she might be like once she reaches school-aged. Will she be the kid that the teachers don't look forward to having in their class? Will she be the one that they tell bad stories about? It really terrifies me to think about that stuff.
Please tell me I'm being ridiculous.
Today in school, the teachers asked the kids to line up at the door. Everybody did. Except Ella. She just stood there and stared at them.
I mean really? Ella, come on. Just listen and participate with the others. It's not that hard!
I pray that I think back to this time of her life and laugh with her about it. I pray that my hair doesn't turn gray before I turn 30. I pray that this is just a phase and she'll grow out of it. I pray and pray and pray.
Don't get me wrong, she's a very sweet and loving girl! I absolutely adore her.
And just to record that she isn't a monster of a child, I must say that she just now came up to me and said "You sad?" Then ran off and quickly came back to crawl up in my lap with a little bit of toilet paper. She dried my tears and said "all better!"
Sigh.
3 comments:
Maria this makes me so sad to read this. You are a wonderful mother and Matt is a great dad. Ella is just a "challenging" child, but you love her, pray for her and are trying your best to teach her and that is all you can do. Leave the rest to God. As her teacher I can truly say she may be challenging but I truly love her. I wouldn't be so hard on her if I didn't love her or know that she could do better. I will continue to pray for you and Ella. You will get through this, you are a strong person! Love you girl!
I love Ella. And her spirit. And you are doing a great job and so is Matt. Keep praying/working with her but it will all work itself out...how can you resist that she brought you a tissue and dried your tears? Those moments totally outweigh the "bad." And I worry about my child all the time too in regards to her attitude towards others. I think that's just being an involved & concerned parent. This too shall pass!...right?!
Maria, I have this child. Only mine with sit defiantly and close her eyes and hide her face and completely and totally ignore people OR she'll just turn away and be very still and pretend like nobody spoke at all. Spankings do nothing for this girl except perhaps make her dig her heels in deeper.
What has worked best for me is to exclude her from whatever activity is going on whenever she is stubborn about something. Sad as it is to say it, she has to feel the sting of disappointment that others are getting privileges that she is not as a direct result of her behavior. If she says it isn't fair, I remind her that they all followed instructions and she did not. I explain that the fun things in life are privileges for proper behavior.
Finally, one concept that I've really been plugging hard is playing the princess card. I have talked over and over about how God is the King and He has adopted us into His family, so we are princes and princesses. We talk about how a princess should act and talk and behave. I relate the fruits of the spirit to how princesses act. When she is behaving poorly, I simply ask, "Is this how a princess of the King of Kings is supposed to behave?" Often, that is enough to get her to reevaluate and change.
I certainly don't think Ella is too young to begin to grasp this concept. Worth a try, anyway! :)
Hope it helps and you can get peace over the matter! :)
~Devon
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